Black Thumb.

     Spring has finally crept completely into the northeast. I look forward to this time every year, as it means there will be leaves on the trees. Theres something about bare trees thats unsettling to me, depressing even. The light seems so much warmer when it shines through bright green leaves. This is also the time of year, every year, that husband and I mistakenly assume we can garden.
     Every year for the past 6 years we've bought plants or seeds, fully intending to have a lush herb garden or some pretty flowers around the house. Winter must have a mind-wipe effect or something, however, because we seem to forget we kill every plant we touch. This is embarassing, not only because gardening is an activity we both enjoy, but because I am the daughter of a master gardener. My mom tried to instill in me a love of gardening (which I have), as well as the proper skills to make plants flourish (do not have). Some of my best childhood memories are with my mom in her garden, playing with ladybugs and eating the berries that grew there. Now all I have to look at is withering disappointment.
     It usually goes like this: Husband buys plants from his work. We totally intend to plant them, but we get too busy/forget to water them. They are okay for about a week, and then only when they start to dry up do we try and do something about it. Obviously, this is a complete loss. We end up with a bunch of sad, dead plants that we have to eventually compost or throw away.
     The worst part is, even when we actually try, the plants still die. When we have a watering schedule that we both follow, when we keep the plants in the appropriate amount of sunlight and shade, when we actually keep close watch on them, they still die. We built an elaborate garden on our roof one year, having to lug gallons of water upstairs twice daily, and everything still died. I think we had maybe one basil plant to show for it. In other words, the plants are obviously not giving us much encouragement, and they really need to work on that.
     As usual, we performed the same routine this year as many before it. Buy plants, don't plant them, freak out when they're almost dead, try to resurrect. The majority of our plants have bit the dust, including a lavander plant I was really looking forward to. We do have 2 that have survived us, however, a sweet potato vine and some sort of fuschia plant that is healthy but refuses to bloom. The secret is, we put these plants outside and haven't touched them since. So it would seem that even dumping plants outside is better for them then having husband and I care for them.
     Luckily for both sides this killing-everything-we-touch rule does not extend to pets or children. We've even managed to keep a red eared slider turtle from the Italian market alive for almost a year, when I think their life expectancy for most is about a month. His name is Dale, and he's awesome.
    Well, in the grand tradition, better luck next year, I guess.